Well exactly 14 days ago I changed my life forever. I still haven't had any of the, "what have I done," moments, but I have been in absolutely excruciating pain since Thursday of last week. I can happily report that I am officially down 20 lbs from the start of my pre-op diet on 8/27. After gaining 6 lbs from surgery and feeling as if the bloating wouldn't ever go away I am really excited that I am starting to see results quickly. And yes I know, I do not want to see them too quickly to avoid a plethora of issues.
I have started using this handy dandy app called My Fitness Pal, (www.myfitnesspal.com) which allows me to track everything I put in my mouth and also the amount of physical activity I do. It tells me how many calories I have left to consume for the day and also breaks down my nutrition for the day letting me know exactly how much protein, fat, fiber, etc. I've consumed. I've seen similar apps that get to be a pain in the butt with entering what you eat, but this app has a scanner part where you can actually take a pic of the items bar code and it adds it to your list. Very cool and very easy. I know that many different weight loss programs preach writing a food journal to keep track of how much you are consuming and I have found it to be a great tool in making sure you aren't over indulging. I am notoriously not very good at keeping a food journal but so far for the past 7 days I've done it and I can admit I am kind of addicted to it.
Right after surgery I jinxed myself by saying I hadn't experienced any of the gas pain that some of the others on LBT (www.lapbandtalk.com) had mentioned. Well guess what has been keeping me company during the wee hours of the morning...gas pain. It started last Wednesday night in the middle of my back between my shoulder blades. Walking, Advil/Tylenol, burping, and Gas-X strips had helped make it possible for me to sleep Wednesday night. I stayed home from work on Thursday and Friday for the same reason. I started on Thursday walking around the park by my help disburse the gas pain. Needless to say by Saturday I was up to 2 miles and was still having gas issues in the evening. Sunday I did not have any pain and thought that perhaps I was finally getting a handle on this issue. NOPE! I woke up this morning at 0300 feeling like I was going to throw up the pain was so bad. After going to work with the heating pad attached to my back, the pain didn't let up and actually was making it difficult to breathe. I contacted my surgeon's office and told them that I was doing everything they had told me to do and the pain was getting worse and unlike before it wasn't letting up this time. My nurse told me that perhaps it was gallstones, since I was also describing those symptoms. Well after a very long visit to the ER and after several rounds of costly tests, I was sent home from the ER with no news. All of my tests came back normal, so I am back to square one with this gas pain. I really am starting to feel like a big baby always whining about this pain, but from what I have been told is pain very similar to a heart attack. And it is also frustrating that I can't manage to make it go away and stay away. My next step is to eat even slower than I already am and see if possibly my food choices are contributing to this issue.
Now that I am finally able to eat more real food as my co-workers call it, I sat down last night and wrote out a menu so I could figure out what I was eating at each meal so I didn't just wonder around aimlessly. I've also picked up two lap-band cook books, one is Bandwagon Cookery by Jean McMillan who is the author of the Lap Band Bible, Bandwagon. Her book is very funny reading all the pointers on how to eat well with the band, I am 95 pages in and haven't made it to her recipes yet but from what I've flipped through they seem to be good. The other is Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery by Patt Levine. I actually prefer her recipes so far from what I've read. She also has a nifty guideline on each page that lets you know how much you should consume depending on what stage you are in on your diet. And the other thing I liked is that all of her recipes have been taste tested blended in case you are in the liquid stages. Very helpful information. I attended a birthday party on Saturday and managed to watch what I ate, made sure to not stuff my face with anything awful and put everything that I ate on my food journal. I was proud of myself at being able to control my choices. Thinking about what I would have eaten a few months ago astounds me, I would have gone bonkers and really stuffed my face, then wondered the next day why my pants were even tighter.
I also want to give a shout out to my friend Amy, she had foot surgery today from a very tragic adult water balloon fight injury, here's to hoping she heals quickly and is back on her feet in no time! And to my friend Jessica, she welcomed home her husband from Afghanistan last week!! I know she has counted the seconds until he returned, so happy for her!!
So that is the low down on the past week. I am hoping that the weight continues to come off, I continue to log my food, and that I continue to exercise on a daily basis. Oh yeah, and the pain STOPS! My one month anniversary from starting the pre-op diet is on Thursday, so I will update you all then on my final weight loss for my 1st month.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
Monday, September 24, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Bleh
Today we had a big cook out at work. I spent most of the morning help set up for it and then manned the front table to make sure everyone signed in and got their raffle ticket. It was outside, but luckily the Texas heat was kind today, it was in the mid 80's and breezy but it still got warm. It was horrible smelling all that good smelling BBQ and not being able to have any. But I had my faithful water bottle with me. By around 1:30 p.m. a lot of people were asking me if I was okay. I was pale again with flushed cheeks and it was obvious I was exhausted. I felt like I needed to stick it out at work, but I only made it to 3:00 before I threw in the towel and came home.
I made it up the stairs and into my bed. The building could have been on fire or someone could have put a chocolate fountain at the foot of my bed and I wouldn't have moved. I know that I am still only 8 days out of surgery and it takes time to heal, but I really wanted to be able to start walking and exercising. I know moving around all day was exercise, but I just want to feel normal. I took a two hour nap which I also did Sunday and yesterday and it made it difficult to get to sleep before late. However, right now I am exhausted again and will be climbing into bed shortly. Several people were at the cook out today who hadn't seen me in several months and commented on how it looked like the weight had just melted off me. So that is awesome and made me feel really good. I also wore a pair of jeans I haven't been able to wear in a long time!!
Another thing bothering me is trying to decipher my insurance claims on my insurance website. It shows what was billed for and what was covered but its not clear if or what I owe. I also received a bill in the mail from the surgeon's office today, not sure what all this is about considering I paid them $918 for my surgery which was based on my deductible not being met, but this bill I received applies $150 to my deductible, so I am wondering if I didn't over pay them for surgery. So I need to call them probably later this week and see what all my money was allocated for. I said later in the week because they still have a claim pending on my insurance website. I just hate all the guessing and wondering if I am being ripped off by them. Part of what I was charged for was my initial meeting with the surgeon which was a group meeting and nothing special. I could have had the same results by attending one of their FREE seminars. Irritated to say the least.
I managed to have my 2 protein shakes at work today. Oh and I got into it with my dietitian again. I emailed asking for guidance about how often I am supposed to eat, and I was told 2 shakes and 1 serving of soup at night. I fought fire with fire and asked how this was supposed to be feasible since liquid does not make you full, they preach do not drink liquids while you eat or you will wash your food through your band. She did give me credit for pointing that out and recanted with adding broth into my day. So small victory. Tonight I finished off two soups I had already started which amounted to about a cup. Going forward I will be measuring out my soup to make sure my portions are on point.
Anyways, I am going to get some sleep and see if I can make it a whole day at work. Also looked at my incisions tonight and noticed some of my glue is starting to come off and most of them look a lot better. I am going to count my victories with my jeans, compliments, and healing incisions.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
I made it up the stairs and into my bed. The building could have been on fire or someone could have put a chocolate fountain at the foot of my bed and I wouldn't have moved. I know that I am still only 8 days out of surgery and it takes time to heal, but I really wanted to be able to start walking and exercising. I know moving around all day was exercise, but I just want to feel normal. I took a two hour nap which I also did Sunday and yesterday and it made it difficult to get to sleep before late. However, right now I am exhausted again and will be climbing into bed shortly. Several people were at the cook out today who hadn't seen me in several months and commented on how it looked like the weight had just melted off me. So that is awesome and made me feel really good. I also wore a pair of jeans I haven't been able to wear in a long time!!
Another thing bothering me is trying to decipher my insurance claims on my insurance website. It shows what was billed for and what was covered but its not clear if or what I owe. I also received a bill in the mail from the surgeon's office today, not sure what all this is about considering I paid them $918 for my surgery which was based on my deductible not being met, but this bill I received applies $150 to my deductible, so I am wondering if I didn't over pay them for surgery. So I need to call them probably later this week and see what all my money was allocated for. I said later in the week because they still have a claim pending on my insurance website. I just hate all the guessing and wondering if I am being ripped off by them. Part of what I was charged for was my initial meeting with the surgeon which was a group meeting and nothing special. I could have had the same results by attending one of their FREE seminars. Irritated to say the least.
I managed to have my 2 protein shakes at work today. Oh and I got into it with my dietitian again. I emailed asking for guidance about how often I am supposed to eat, and I was told 2 shakes and 1 serving of soup at night. I fought fire with fire and asked how this was supposed to be feasible since liquid does not make you full, they preach do not drink liquids while you eat or you will wash your food through your band. She did give me credit for pointing that out and recanted with adding broth into my day. So small victory. Tonight I finished off two soups I had already started which amounted to about a cup. Going forward I will be measuring out my soup to make sure my portions are on point.
Anyways, I am going to get some sleep and see if I can make it a whole day at work. Also looked at my incisions tonight and noticed some of my glue is starting to come off and most of them look a lot better. I am going to count my victories with my jeans, compliments, and healing incisions.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
Monday, September 17, 2012
7 Days Post Op & Return to Work Day
Well I'll have you all know, I was in bed, found a comfy spot to lay in (hard to do these days with 5 incisions) and all but asleep when I keep feeling this nagging sensation for not writing my blog tonight. One of the main reasons I started this blog was to give me something to be accountable for. If I had to blog once a week (at least) and update whomever reads this on my progress then I would be less likely to cheat or fall of the band wagon...ha ha, you get my joke? So I drug my butt out of bed, fired up the computer and now here I am.
It is hard to believe that it was only a week ago today that I was having my very first surgery and that at this time last week I was in a drug induced stupor off in dream land. I've read many postings on the LBT website I am a member of for fellow lap banders, that many people had a "what have I done," moment. I can honestly say as hungry as I have been over the past week, I have never had that moment. I am very excited that I can honestly say I've had the surgery and I am on the path of weight loss. Yes I know it will be a lot of hard work with controlling my diet and exercising but I am really looking forward to it. And I think having the lap band will be the perfect tool to help me reach my goals.
I am just ready to be off restriction for diet and exercise so I can come up with my "real" world plan. I have been looking at the class schedules at 24 Hour Fitness coming up with a plan for which classes I am going to take when. I would ideally like to do at least 2 classes a week of weight training and cardio at least 5 times a week. Once I can start going to these classes and working out I know that it will become second nature and of course seeing the results will be extra motivation to keep going too.
Right now I am on the second week of my post op diet which consists of my protein shakes and thicker soups such as tomato soup. Last week was just pure broth which was harder than I thought it would be. I had read that a lot of people were not hungry the days following surgery. Well this fat girl wasn't one of those lucky ones. Staying awake long enough last week to sip my water and protein shakes was tough since the pain meds knocked me out pretty good, however when I was awake I was definitely hungry. And since I was only drinking liquids which go right through my band I had a very limited window of that "full" feeling. I do enjoy that only about a cup of liquid makes me "full."
I am also working out my plan for when I can return to normal food in about 2 more weeks. There is a place here in Houston and also Dallas called My Fit Foods, (www.myfitfoods.com) I have had their meals on several occasions. They are low fat, high protein meals that are aimed at people who are as I call "label aware," and looking for fast but yummy healthy food options. Only down side is that they are on the other side of town, but I can trek over there on Sunday's and prepare for the week. They have several options, low carb, gluten free, etc. I plan on getting their small portion, which is 3 oz of protein for my lunches. I am one of those people that if I have to prepare a lot in advance I will eventually stop doing it. Or I will wait until I am ravenously hungry and be miserable. They are pretty affordable ranging from $6-$8 a meal which is cheaper than eating out somewhere and I believe the portions are small enough that I wont be wasting a lot of food. They have a lot of chicken, fish, and turkey options which will be nice. I still plan on having a protein shake for breakfast and just protein and veggies for dinner.
I would update you on my scale progress, but I have refused to get on the damn thing since Saturday. I was very frustrated that after having weight loss surgery (WLS) that from the time I went in the operating room until I came out I managed to find 6 lbs. I know that this is from the fluids and bloating my body has gone through from surgery. But it was a little frustrating. My nurse practitioner told me this was normal and that I would see results soon. She also pointed out that I was losing visceral fat and that my clothes probably fit better. At this point I wasn't wearing much but yoga pants and t-shirts so I wouldn't know. Saturday I got dressed and my tightest pair of jean shorts fit considerably better, even were a little loose. And I was able to comfortably wear a shirt I hadn't worn in 2 years. It wasn't too tight anywhere and managed to cover what I wanted it to. So small victories. I had said I would weigh on Tuesdays but I think I am going to push that to Wednesday or Thursdays. I'll let you all know. My surgeon's office also has a support group once a month, I am not really sure what to expect from it, but I believe I will go. Any tips and advice from people going through this with me might be helpful. That will be this Wednesday. I would be lying to say that I am not scared shit less that I will not lose any weight. Although I have bitched and complained a fair amount, I have managed to stick to my diet so I know that I will lose the weight. I also think I have an outline for success with my food and exercise plans. I just have to be patient (gasp!) and let my body work its magic. I cannot fail! My mini goal is to see -20 lbs by my post-op appointment on 10/9.
I managed to get to work today and I will say it was odd to be back there, I kinda enjoyed being off for a week. I was so worried that the world would end without me for a week but they all survived. I had my shake for breakfast and managed to drink some water. About 10:00 a.m. I started feeling really tired and out of it and my incisions were starting to really bother me. I didn't take my pain meds because I didn't want to fall asleep at my desk, so I was only taking Advil. I made it until about 12:30 before I threw in the towel and packed it in and went home. When I got home I did notice I was really pale and my cheeks were flushed. So tomorrow I will be taking a half dose of pain meds about 9:00 to see if that doesn't help me make it the entire day.
So anyways, this is a long ramble and I do need to get to sleep. Big party at work tomorrow with lots of vendors and customers so I have to be on my game. Maybe the pain meds will help drown my anxiety about not being successful with a weight loss.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
It is hard to believe that it was only a week ago today that I was having my very first surgery and that at this time last week I was in a drug induced stupor off in dream land. I've read many postings on the LBT website I am a member of for fellow lap banders, that many people had a "what have I done," moment. I can honestly say as hungry as I have been over the past week, I have never had that moment. I am very excited that I can honestly say I've had the surgery and I am on the path of weight loss. Yes I know it will be a lot of hard work with controlling my diet and exercising but I am really looking forward to it. And I think having the lap band will be the perfect tool to help me reach my goals.
I am just ready to be off restriction for diet and exercise so I can come up with my "real" world plan. I have been looking at the class schedules at 24 Hour Fitness coming up with a plan for which classes I am going to take when. I would ideally like to do at least 2 classes a week of weight training and cardio at least 5 times a week. Once I can start going to these classes and working out I know that it will become second nature and of course seeing the results will be extra motivation to keep going too.
Right now I am on the second week of my post op diet which consists of my protein shakes and thicker soups such as tomato soup. Last week was just pure broth which was harder than I thought it would be. I had read that a lot of people were not hungry the days following surgery. Well this fat girl wasn't one of those lucky ones. Staying awake long enough last week to sip my water and protein shakes was tough since the pain meds knocked me out pretty good, however when I was awake I was definitely hungry. And since I was only drinking liquids which go right through my band I had a very limited window of that "full" feeling. I do enjoy that only about a cup of liquid makes me "full."
I am also working out my plan for when I can return to normal food in about 2 more weeks. There is a place here in Houston and also Dallas called My Fit Foods, (www.myfitfoods.com) I have had their meals on several occasions. They are low fat, high protein meals that are aimed at people who are as I call "label aware," and looking for fast but yummy healthy food options. Only down side is that they are on the other side of town, but I can trek over there on Sunday's and prepare for the week. They have several options, low carb, gluten free, etc. I plan on getting their small portion, which is 3 oz of protein for my lunches. I am one of those people that if I have to prepare a lot in advance I will eventually stop doing it. Or I will wait until I am ravenously hungry and be miserable. They are pretty affordable ranging from $6-$8 a meal which is cheaper than eating out somewhere and I believe the portions are small enough that I wont be wasting a lot of food. They have a lot of chicken, fish, and turkey options which will be nice. I still plan on having a protein shake for breakfast and just protein and veggies for dinner.
I would update you on my scale progress, but I have refused to get on the damn thing since Saturday. I was very frustrated that after having weight loss surgery (WLS) that from the time I went in the operating room until I came out I managed to find 6 lbs. I know that this is from the fluids and bloating my body has gone through from surgery. But it was a little frustrating. My nurse practitioner told me this was normal and that I would see results soon. She also pointed out that I was losing visceral fat and that my clothes probably fit better. At this point I wasn't wearing much but yoga pants and t-shirts so I wouldn't know. Saturday I got dressed and my tightest pair of jean shorts fit considerably better, even were a little loose. And I was able to comfortably wear a shirt I hadn't worn in 2 years. It wasn't too tight anywhere and managed to cover what I wanted it to. So small victories. I had said I would weigh on Tuesdays but I think I am going to push that to Wednesday or Thursdays. I'll let you all know. My surgeon's office also has a support group once a month, I am not really sure what to expect from it, but I believe I will go. Any tips and advice from people going through this with me might be helpful. That will be this Wednesday. I would be lying to say that I am not scared shit less that I will not lose any weight. Although I have bitched and complained a fair amount, I have managed to stick to my diet so I know that I will lose the weight. I also think I have an outline for success with my food and exercise plans. I just have to be patient (gasp!) and let my body work its magic. I cannot fail! My mini goal is to see -20 lbs by my post-op appointment on 10/9.
I managed to get to work today and I will say it was odd to be back there, I kinda enjoyed being off for a week. I was so worried that the world would end without me for a week but they all survived. I had my shake for breakfast and managed to drink some water. About 10:00 a.m. I started feeling really tired and out of it and my incisions were starting to really bother me. I didn't take my pain meds because I didn't want to fall asleep at my desk, so I was only taking Advil. I made it until about 12:30 before I threw in the towel and packed it in and went home. When I got home I did notice I was really pale and my cheeks were flushed. So tomorrow I will be taking a half dose of pain meds about 9:00 to see if that doesn't help me make it the entire day.
So anyways, this is a long ramble and I do need to get to sleep. Big party at work tomorrow with lots of vendors and customers so I have to be on my game. Maybe the pain meds will help drown my anxiety about not being successful with a weight loss.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
Friday, September 14, 2012
Day 4 Post Op- Still bloated!
Well my recovery has been going quite well. I haven't experienced the severe gas pain that some others have talked about, I have had zero shoulder gas pain. I have been walking a lot and taking my Gas-X strips every 4 hours. It seems to help. I also have been swigging a diet ginger ale here and there to help me burp which seems to relieve most of my gas pain.
I have been able to climb out of my drug induced coma long enough to update everyone and post some pictures as promised in my last post. The first day home after surgery I woke up in quite a bit of pain. I was concerned that the pain meds prescribed weren't strong enough. My nurse practitioner told me to take Advil in between pain meds. So I began taking them 2 hours after taking pain meds and it made a world of difference. I tried to tell myself it was time to start getting myself off pain meds last night. I slept through when my 4 hours would have been to take it, I woke up 2 hours past med time. And needless to say I was in excruciating pain. So back on the pain meds I went. I don't know why I have to try to be such a toughy.
Day 2 of Post-Op, I was exhausted and spent most of the time asleep. I think I walked too much day 1 and didn't sleep enough. So most of Day 2 and Day 3 were spent asleep or sipping on a shake or broth. I will say that I had read that most people didn't even want to eat the first couple of days after surgery. Well that didn't apply to this fat girl, I wasn't ravenous starving, but I wanted to eat. I have discovered though that I can't eat a whole lot before I feel satisfied. Like I am talking 1- cup of soup broth or half of a 12 ounce shake. Its been hard to make sure I get all my water in because I have spent the vast majority of my time asleep. Its funny, because I will be in the middle of typing a text and then the next thing I know I am waking up and the whole thing is gibberish. I feel like I have narcolepsy. I do have to shout out to my family for making some wonderful soup options. They are giving me lots of variety in the food area so I am not getting bored with broth.
Anyways, I came home from the hospital on Monday 6 lbs heavier than when I went into surgery. I know that I have a ton of air inside of me, a lot of fluids floating around, and my organs are extremely bloated. But it just messes with your mind. I went to have this surgery to lose weight yet here I gained. I figured that as time progressed and the air and swelling went down I would lose weight. And I have, I am now down 4 lbs since when I got home from the hospital. But as my family has pointed out, I haven't had anything to eat besides protein shakes and soup broth I should be losing weight faster. Anyways, it's starting to get to me. So this is why I will not be getting back on the scale until next Tuesday. At that point I will be weighing only on Tuesdays Chin up! I have finally had the surgery and am on the road to recovery.
I know this ramble is more like a rant and I am sure not very well thought out, but these meds kinda inhibit better writing. In fact it is about time to go crawl back into bed for my mid-morning nap.
Here are the pics:
1- Me right after surgery, extremely drugged up giving the thumbs up sign
2- My incisions the day of surgery, you can see how bloated my stomach is, I look pregnant
3- My liver picture, my surgeon just thought it was hilarious I kept asking for the picture
4- The flowers my wonderful sister in law, Carrie brought me
5- My incisions as of today, you can see the bruise coming in between them, but that my stomach is a lot less bloated.
Anyways, until tomorrow,
Amanda
I have been able to climb out of my drug induced coma long enough to update everyone and post some pictures as promised in my last post. The first day home after surgery I woke up in quite a bit of pain. I was concerned that the pain meds prescribed weren't strong enough. My nurse practitioner told me to take Advil in between pain meds. So I began taking them 2 hours after taking pain meds and it made a world of difference. I tried to tell myself it was time to start getting myself off pain meds last night. I slept through when my 4 hours would have been to take it, I woke up 2 hours past med time. And needless to say I was in excruciating pain. So back on the pain meds I went. I don't know why I have to try to be such a toughy.
Day 2 of Post-Op, I was exhausted and spent most of the time asleep. I think I walked too much day 1 and didn't sleep enough. So most of Day 2 and Day 3 were spent asleep or sipping on a shake or broth. I will say that I had read that most people didn't even want to eat the first couple of days after surgery. Well that didn't apply to this fat girl, I wasn't ravenous starving, but I wanted to eat. I have discovered though that I can't eat a whole lot before I feel satisfied. Like I am talking 1- cup of soup broth or half of a 12 ounce shake. Its been hard to make sure I get all my water in because I have spent the vast majority of my time asleep. Its funny, because I will be in the middle of typing a text and then the next thing I know I am waking up and the whole thing is gibberish. I feel like I have narcolepsy. I do have to shout out to my family for making some wonderful soup options. They are giving me lots of variety in the food area so I am not getting bored with broth.
Anyways, I came home from the hospital on Monday 6 lbs heavier than when I went into surgery. I know that I have a ton of air inside of me, a lot of fluids floating around, and my organs are extremely bloated. But it just messes with your mind. I went to have this surgery to lose weight yet here I gained. I figured that as time progressed and the air and swelling went down I would lose weight. And I have, I am now down 4 lbs since when I got home from the hospital. But as my family has pointed out, I haven't had anything to eat besides protein shakes and soup broth I should be losing weight faster. Anyways, it's starting to get to me. So this is why I will not be getting back on the scale until next Tuesday. At that point I will be weighing only on Tuesdays Chin up! I have finally had the surgery and am on the road to recovery.
I know this ramble is more like a rant and I am sure not very well thought out, but these meds kinda inhibit better writing. In fact it is about time to go crawl back into bed for my mid-morning nap.
Here are the pics:
1- Me right after surgery, extremely drugged up giving the thumbs up sign
2- My incisions the day of surgery, you can see how bloated my stomach is, I look pregnant
3- My liver picture, my surgeon just thought it was hilarious I kept asking for the picture
4- The flowers my wonderful sister in law, Carrie brought me
5- My incisions as of today, you can see the bruise coming in between them, but that my stomach is a lot less bloated.
Anyways, until tomorrow,
Amanda
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
First day post op
This will be short and sweet since I am really pretty out of it still. But surgery went well. I made it out of surgery about 2:30 p.m. woke up in recovery about 3:15, then went and did the swallow test. I got back to my room about 5:30 and was in the car going home by 7:30. Yesterday I was sore but nothing bad. Got home and even had some chicken broth.
No pain, until 0400 this morning. I had slept for 6 hours since meds and woke up in a considerable amount of pain. The nurse practitioner told me to take advil in between pain meds. I started that about 6 this morning. That combo of meds is working currently. I feel better, sore but nothing I can't stand right now. I have had some discomfort with gas, not shoulder pain, but it does make my stomach hurt from sitting up in the same position (such as right now in this chair). I have been taking my gas-x strips every 3 hours or so and see to be combating that.
Last night I had about 1.5 cups of broth, which was too much, I had some discomfort after. This morning I made a protein shake to avoid being sick from the pain meds and only got a few ounces of it down. And a little bit ago I had about 1 cup of broth. I am glad I am feeling some resistance in what I am consuming.
Anyways, I want to wish a big good luck to all my LBT friends who are having surgery today, good luck!! I am falling asleep in this chair, so I will chat more later and upload some funny pics from yesterday.
Until later,
Amanda
No pain, until 0400 this morning. I had slept for 6 hours since meds and woke up in a considerable amount of pain. The nurse practitioner told me to take advil in between pain meds. I started that about 6 this morning. That combo of meds is working currently. I feel better, sore but nothing I can't stand right now. I have had some discomfort with gas, not shoulder pain, but it does make my stomach hurt from sitting up in the same position (such as right now in this chair). I have been taking my gas-x strips every 3 hours or so and see to be combating that.
Last night I had about 1.5 cups of broth, which was too much, I had some discomfort after. This morning I made a protein shake to avoid being sick from the pain meds and only got a few ounces of it down. And a little bit ago I had about 1 cup of broth. I am glad I am feeling some resistance in what I am consuming.
Anyways, I want to wish a big good luck to all my LBT friends who are having surgery today, good luck!! I am falling asleep in this chair, so I will chat more later and upload some funny pics from yesterday.
Until later,
Amanda
Sunday, September 9, 2012
I've made it to OZ...Surgery TOMORROW!
Friday I had one of the most stressful days in a long time and a mini melt down. I had a lot of loose ends to tie up at work and it just seemed like every time I got one thing handled another thing popped up. I thought there was no way I was going to be able to take a week off from work without the world ending. But a good work friend talked me off the ledge and told me it would be fine. I made a list of things to do and instructions to leave, the last of which I plan on implementing in the morning. Payroll is due tomorrow I have a lot of it done but I will be going in tomorrow morning to complete the last of it. I plan on being out of the office no later than 0900. We will see if that happens.
I managed to stick to my diet all weekend to a T! I even had only fish or chicken. I was in Dallas where Taco Bueno is, my favorite place, I nearly had myself talked into having a bean burrito but I stuck to my guns and had a shake!! I am officially down 16 lbs for surgery. And if that isn't enough of the dietician then I don't know what else to tell her. I can honestly say I have done everything I can possibly do to make sure my liver is tiny for surgery tomorrow. So if he opens me up and its huge I don't know what else I could have done. No regrets. Zero.
So tomorrow is the big day... I don't have a lot to say, because I am really kinda nervous and I am really kinda worried I wont finish everything at work. And I'll be late and then I will miss surgery. LOL. No, can't happen. I will be there on time and have the surgery and wake up with the lap band and start my new journey. I have followed the yellow brick road, survived the wicked witch and her flying monkey's (taco bueno), and have finally reached OZ. I am ready to see the man behind the curtain!
Wish me luck,
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
I managed to stick to my diet all weekend to a T! I even had only fish or chicken. I was in Dallas where Taco Bueno is, my favorite place, I nearly had myself talked into having a bean burrito but I stuck to my guns and had a shake!! I am officially down 16 lbs for surgery. And if that isn't enough of the dietician then I don't know what else to tell her. I can honestly say I have done everything I can possibly do to make sure my liver is tiny for surgery tomorrow. So if he opens me up and its huge I don't know what else I could have done. No regrets. Zero.
So tomorrow is the big day... I don't have a lot to say, because I am really kinda nervous and I am really kinda worried I wont finish everything at work. And I'll be late and then I will miss surgery. LOL. No, can't happen. I will be there on time and have the surgery and wake up with the lap band and start my new journey. I have followed the yellow brick road, survived the wicked witch and her flying monkey's (taco bueno), and have finally reached OZ. I am ready to see the man behind the curtain!
Wish me luck,
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
Thursday, September 6, 2012
SOOOO Hungry!!
So today I had my pre-op appointment at the hospital. All and all it went well, had a really nice nurse who I know will take really good care of me after surgery. Had the usual blood taken and signed paperwork. Also had to have a chest x-ray done. Got the low-down from the nurse about where to go, what to expect, and what my well wishers are to do while I am in surgery. I have to admit I was really pretty nervous sitting in the hospital, I guess just ready for this to happen.
After that I went to the surgeon's office to turn in my food logs and meet with the dietitian (who is very skinny). I started my pre-op diet per their orders on 8/27, but I didn't get weighed by them until 8/28. I had already lost 2 lbs by the time I got there on 8/28, but since my "official" weight was at their office I didn't get those 2 lbs credited to me. Anyways today according to them I was just down 10 lbs (my count is 12 lbs). The dietitian told me that neither the surgeon or the nurse practitioner would be very happy with only losing 10 lbs. True results told me that I had to lose at least 10. Yes I know, I am going to lose a few more before surgery and in the weight loss game, more lost the better, but I just felt defeated. I felt like if they expected more than they should have told me from the get go. But then again, I have been doing really pretty well on the diet. Then she threatened me with my current biggest fear...my liver might not be small enough!! I nearly cried. I am just about convinced this is a scare tactic, I am just going to have faith that my diligent diet will pay off and my liver will be tinny tiny come surgery. Kinda a non scale victory, normally after a meeting like I had today at the surgeon's office, I would have ran to the nearest McDonalds and although I wanted to really bad, I didn't. Woo hoo!!
I have mentioned these super yummy shakes, Pure Protein with 35g of protein, they taste amazing!! Well I asked her about them, they have milk protein concentrate instead of whey protein. She said that I was to have ZERO dairy until after surgery and that might have been why I saw such a sluggish response this weekend. But previously I had consulted one of my trainer friends who said that there wasn't much difference with the proteins. However, I had a feeling on Monday those shakes might have been hurting me, so I had switched back to whey. I bought their Barriatric Advantage shakes today, which were not cheap, but they have like 27g of protein in them. I got the banana flavor, (DYING for a banana) and it was really good.
This morning I did not eat (eat = have shake) as I was in a hurry and didn't want the extra "weight," for the scale. I didn't have my first shake until I got to work at about 1:30 p.m. I know, I know, bad for my metabolism. I never have the 2nd shake, just had grilled chicken and salad for dinner. Now its all I can think about it wanting to eat anything and everything. I am currently drinking a big glass of water and chewing gum. Have to get my mind off of this.
Anyways, I am extra motivated this week to be extra good on my diet. I will drop those 6 lbs and prove to that dietitian that I can do it and that I have a skinny liver. Makes me wonder what HER liver looks like. LOL. Tomorrow I fly to Dallas after work. I am going to dinner with my BFF, must eat chicken or fish. Then Sunday I am driving my mom and her 3 dogs down to Houston. They will be staying with me until Thursday. I can't believe that my surgery is that close, seems like just yesterday I was on my 3rd appointment for my weight loss monitoring.
I am a work-a-holic and haven't taken a whole week off of work in a long time. So I must get to bed, because I will be up at work early tomorrow to cram in everything I have to get done before I leave. I will be in the office Monday until 0900 but that is only to do payroll. So must cram cram cram!! I fully plan on finishing the edits on my first novel while I am "laid" up and working on my second and keeping my work phone turned off!!
Anyways, sorry tonight was about 90% rambles. Just a jittery mess.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
After that I went to the surgeon's office to turn in my food logs and meet with the dietitian (who is very skinny). I started my pre-op diet per their orders on 8/27, but I didn't get weighed by them until 8/28. I had already lost 2 lbs by the time I got there on 8/28, but since my "official" weight was at their office I didn't get those 2 lbs credited to me. Anyways today according to them I was just down 10 lbs (my count is 12 lbs). The dietitian told me that neither the surgeon or the nurse practitioner would be very happy with only losing 10 lbs. True results told me that I had to lose at least 10. Yes I know, I am going to lose a few more before surgery and in the weight loss game, more lost the better, but I just felt defeated. I felt like if they expected more than they should have told me from the get go. But then again, I have been doing really pretty well on the diet. Then she threatened me with my current biggest fear...my liver might not be small enough!! I nearly cried. I am just about convinced this is a scare tactic, I am just going to have faith that my diligent diet will pay off and my liver will be tinny tiny come surgery. Kinda a non scale victory, normally after a meeting like I had today at the surgeon's office, I would have ran to the nearest McDonalds and although I wanted to really bad, I didn't. Woo hoo!!
I have mentioned these super yummy shakes, Pure Protein with 35g of protein, they taste amazing!! Well I asked her about them, they have milk protein concentrate instead of whey protein. She said that I was to have ZERO dairy until after surgery and that might have been why I saw such a sluggish response this weekend. But previously I had consulted one of my trainer friends who said that there wasn't much difference with the proteins. However, I had a feeling on Monday those shakes might have been hurting me, so I had switched back to whey. I bought their Barriatric Advantage shakes today, which were not cheap, but they have like 27g of protein in them. I got the banana flavor, (DYING for a banana) and it was really good.
This morning I did not eat (eat = have shake) as I was in a hurry and didn't want the extra "weight," for the scale. I didn't have my first shake until I got to work at about 1:30 p.m. I know, I know, bad for my metabolism. I never have the 2nd shake, just had grilled chicken and salad for dinner. Now its all I can think about it wanting to eat anything and everything. I am currently drinking a big glass of water and chewing gum. Have to get my mind off of this.
Anyways, I am extra motivated this week to be extra good on my diet. I will drop those 6 lbs and prove to that dietitian that I can do it and that I have a skinny liver. Makes me wonder what HER liver looks like. LOL. Tomorrow I fly to Dallas after work. I am going to dinner with my BFF, must eat chicken or fish. Then Sunday I am driving my mom and her 3 dogs down to Houston. They will be staying with me until Thursday. I can't believe that my surgery is that close, seems like just yesterday I was on my 3rd appointment for my weight loss monitoring.
I am a work-a-holic and haven't taken a whole week off of work in a long time. So I must get to bed, because I will be up at work early tomorrow to cram in everything I have to get done before I leave. I will be in the office Monday until 0900 but that is only to do payroll. So must cram cram cram!! I fully plan on finishing the edits on my first novel while I am "laid" up and working on my second and keeping my work phone turned off!!
Anyways, sorry tonight was about 90% rambles. Just a jittery mess.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Pre-Op Appt @ Hospital Tomorrow!! More Liver Rants & 4 Days Left!!
So I have spent most of my day obsessed with my liver...or quite frankly its size. It is driving me insane that I don't have a clue what size it is or most importantly if it has shrank enough for surgery! Really, I think our bodies should have a peep hole so during times like these we could see inside. I've mentioned before I have to shrink my liver for surgery. My surgeon has said that if he gets in there and its too large he will not do the surgery. At this point, aside from me dropping dead or aliens abducting me that could be the only thing standing in my way. I even tried to get my Ob-gyn to ultra sound my liver. He informed me that I would be fine and that really wasn't his area of expertise. LOL! Many people have told me that about half of the doctors out there do not require pre-op diets and some others have told me its just a tool to motivate people to start losing weight. Either way, still would like to know what size it is!
Tonight I went out to dinner and I managed to look the food monster in the eye and be good. I ate my lean meat and broccoli and it was actually really tasty. I am getting stronger and stronger in these types of situations which gives me hope that I am really making very good changes that will help me to continue to be successful with my weight loss. Hooray for a non-scale victory!!
Tomorrow I am to be at the hospital at 0830 for my pre-op appointment, which I am assuming consists of them taking blood out of me and I am sure signing some kind of paperwork. I've never had surgery before so I am not all that clear on what that entails but I will find out. I am so freaking nervous/excited that I don't know what to think/do. It will be surreal to be in the hospital where in a few days I'll be in for my life changing surgery. I just hope I can navigate where to go without getting lost or looking like an idiot.
Following the blood giving event (I DO NOT give blood well), I will drive to the surgeon's office and meet with the dietitian. I will have to turn in more of my food log (sent some in last Friday) and they will weigh me for the last time before surgery. Every time I went to True Results for my appointments I wore the same outfit, I am torn between wearing my tried and true good luck outfit or winging it. I am usually pretty superstitious so we will see what I decide on in the am. I just hope that the scale numbers are on my side tomorrow. I've lost 11 lbs total so far but I would like to lose another 6 lbs for a total loss of 17 lbs by surgery. We shall see.
Anyways, I am going to sign off now and hopefully get some sleep. Although I am sure I will end up staring at the ceiling most of the night. I also hurt my back today fiddling with the window on my truck. I hope that goes away soon too. Sweet dreams y'all.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
Tonight I went out to dinner and I managed to look the food monster in the eye and be good. I ate my lean meat and broccoli and it was actually really tasty. I am getting stronger and stronger in these types of situations which gives me hope that I am really making very good changes that will help me to continue to be successful with my weight loss. Hooray for a non-scale victory!!
Tomorrow I am to be at the hospital at 0830 for my pre-op appointment, which I am assuming consists of them taking blood out of me and I am sure signing some kind of paperwork. I've never had surgery before so I am not all that clear on what that entails but I will find out. I am so freaking nervous/excited that I don't know what to think/do. It will be surreal to be in the hospital where in a few days I'll be in for my life changing surgery. I just hope I can navigate where to go without getting lost or looking like an idiot.
Following the blood giving event (I DO NOT give blood well), I will drive to the surgeon's office and meet with the dietitian. I will have to turn in more of my food log (sent some in last Friday) and they will weigh me for the last time before surgery. Every time I went to True Results for my appointments I wore the same outfit, I am torn between wearing my tried and true good luck outfit or winging it. I am usually pretty superstitious so we will see what I decide on in the am. I just hope that the scale numbers are on my side tomorrow. I've lost 11 lbs total so far but I would like to lose another 6 lbs for a total loss of 17 lbs by surgery. We shall see.
Anyways, I am going to sign off now and hopefully get some sleep. Although I am sure I will end up staring at the ceiling most of the night. I also hurt my back today fiddling with the window on my truck. I hope that goes away soon too. Sweet dreams y'all.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
6 days left until S-Day!!
So after not having great success with the numbers on the scale going down all weekend, I woke up this morning to discover I had lost 2 lbs!! Its better than Christmas morning...well almost anyways. Today I am 6 days out until surgery. I am getting more and more excited as the days go on. I go on Thursday for my pre-op appointment at the surgery and to do my final weigh in at the surgeon's office. So woo hoo. I will definitely be working out during lunch tomorrow.
I have been craving pizza something terrible lately. I ate it a good bit before I started my diet but still having a hard time kicking that habit. Today at work we had a safety meeting during lunch and they ordered pizza. I have to admit that no one asked me if I wanted any, which they are famous for doing, but while they were eating their pizza and I was drinking my shake I felt left out. However afterwards when I realized I had kept my mouth to myself I was proud. I have to really get used to not eating all of the bad things when the whole group is eating bad. You can ask most people, I am really not a follower, but when it comes to food I am very much a follower, it is usually pretty easy to get me to fall off the good choice bandwagon. Attached is a picture of the pizza party and my shake there in the middle. Woo hoo me!!
The hardest part right now is controlling my bite sizes. I am supposed to be taking a bite the size of the first joint on your pinkie finger and chewing excessively. Also I am not supposed to be drinking liquids while I eat. This is to keep from washing my food down my stomach quicker so I feel full longer. Whenever I go out to eat, I've never been the person who gets 100 refills of their drink. Usually I barely make it through one. But for some reason now that I am trying to monitor this its become extremely hard. Tomorrow at dinner, I am not even going to sit down with a drink. Maybe this will take away the temptation to drink.
I've pretty much decided on only making healthy choices and not eating carbs, but its the little things I am worried about perfecting before surgery. Such as the small bite, excessive chewing, and no drinking while eating. What if I can't master these things? I think I mentioned the baby plates and kids silverware that I bought. I have been eating smaller portions but starting tomorrow I will bust out the plates and silverware. I have also attached a picture of the broiled tilapia and spinach I had tonight to show my portion sizes. This is the smallest plate I have besides the baby plates. This will force me to seriously monitor my portions and the silverware will make me take smaller bites. I know this is an ongoing process, just have to keep working on it until it becomes second nature, just like eating terrible food did in my "past" life. That and I know the first time (or probably second and third time too) that I have issues with how big of bite I took or washing my food down, I will really feel the effects and focus on following the rules.
So to summarize, do not be a food follower, be a leader and make good food choices, continue working on fine tuning lap band eating habits until they are second nature, and do not give into temptation. I can do this, tomorrow is only 5 days until surgery!!
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
I have been craving pizza something terrible lately. I ate it a good bit before I started my diet but still having a hard time kicking that habit. Today at work we had a safety meeting during lunch and they ordered pizza. I have to admit that no one asked me if I wanted any, which they are famous for doing, but while they were eating their pizza and I was drinking my shake I felt left out. However afterwards when I realized I had kept my mouth to myself I was proud. I have to really get used to not eating all of the bad things when the whole group is eating bad. You can ask most people, I am really not a follower, but when it comes to food I am very much a follower, it is usually pretty easy to get me to fall off the good choice bandwagon. Attached is a picture of the pizza party and my shake there in the middle. Woo hoo me!!
The hardest part right now is controlling my bite sizes. I am supposed to be taking a bite the size of the first joint on your pinkie finger and chewing excessively. Also I am not supposed to be drinking liquids while I eat. This is to keep from washing my food down my stomach quicker so I feel full longer. Whenever I go out to eat, I've never been the person who gets 100 refills of their drink. Usually I barely make it through one. But for some reason now that I am trying to monitor this its become extremely hard. Tomorrow at dinner, I am not even going to sit down with a drink. Maybe this will take away the temptation to drink.
I've pretty much decided on only making healthy choices and not eating carbs, but its the little things I am worried about perfecting before surgery. Such as the small bite, excessive chewing, and no drinking while eating. What if I can't master these things? I think I mentioned the baby plates and kids silverware that I bought. I have been eating smaller portions but starting tomorrow I will bust out the plates and silverware. I have also attached a picture of the broiled tilapia and spinach I had tonight to show my portion sizes. This is the smallest plate I have besides the baby plates. This will force me to seriously monitor my portions and the silverware will make me take smaller bites. I know this is an ongoing process, just have to keep working on it until it becomes second nature, just like eating terrible food did in my "past" life. That and I know the first time (or probably second and third time too) that I have issues with how big of bite I took or washing my food down, I will really feel the effects and focus on following the rules.
So to summarize, do not be a food follower, be a leader and make good food choices, continue working on fine tuning lap band eating habits until they are second nature, and do not give into temptation. I can do this, tomorrow is only 5 days until surgery!!
Until tomorrow,
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Battle of the Weekend Party...Party People All Around!!
So I haven't posted in a couple of days. Here is the summary of my wacky adventures this weekend:
Thursday- went out with a couple of coworkers to steak night. I managed to get by without completely blowing the diet.
Friday- came down with a sinus/ear infection and went to the clinic in Walgreens to get some antibiotics. Had to get that cleared up before surgery which at that time was 10 days out (feeling much better now). Also I was exhausted from the aforementioned steak night and also having to make a middle of the night run to the ship yard for work. So I was in bed relatively early. Small victory- I did manage to find these protein shakes that taste yummy called Pure Protein at the Vitamin Shoppe. I had wanted to try the other flavors before making a financial investment by ordering a case of them. By the way, the banana and vanilla rocks!! Oh and stay away from the cookies and cream, it should be called yuck in a can.
Saturday- AKA Day 1 of Hell- Up until this point I had managed to stick to my diet and was holding steady at 10 lbs lost. The day started out crappy with a wake up call from my boss at 730 a.m. to which resulted in having to call several members of my crew, waking them up and finally another trip to the fleet and then the ship yard. Luckily I was home by 930 and back in bed for a nap. My day gets worse. I saunter across the street to see how all the out of town family guests are doing and what they are doing. Of course, being the good time having people they are, they were all drinking and eating really yummy things!! I was able to stave off temptation for a while. But eventually gave in and tried a cracker with jalapeno jelly on it which led to a couple of chips with salsa. At this point, I decided that I was going to go outside and swim 50 laps in the pool so at least if I was going to have a few things I would at least have worked out. I swam the 50 laps and also treaded water for 5 minutes straight. This afforded me (in my mind) a spoonful of Spanish rice with dinner. I stayed away from the alcohol though, the whole not shrinking my liver enough for surgery thing really worries me. If I make it all the way to the operating table and the surgeon opens me up but doesn't do surgery, I will be intolerable. Saturday night was our fantasy football draft and I have to say probably the most annoying thing ever. Everyone was drunk, except of course me and very obnoxious. I guess when you are on the outside looking in, it is not as fun. On the upside, my new found hobby of not drinking has revealed another talent, designated driver!
Sunday (today) AKA Day 2 of Hell- I woke up and weighed, and thanks to some miracle I was still at the -10 lbs I had been at all weekend. Part of me was really excited that I hadn't gained any weight but I was also really sad that the scale hadn't moved down either. I decided that the little cheats I had given into the day before were really stupid and that I needed to pull it together, turn the cheek to temptation and be motivated to see the numbers on the scale drop. We all went to Galveston to enjoy the "beach." I can say that I stuck to my diet very strictly. No cheats. I had my shakes and even on the way back from the beach, stopped to pick up my 2nd shake at a gas station, I had to settle for Muscle Milk, which I am not normally a fan of, but it did the trick of tiding me over. I also swam some in the pool and treaded more water. At one point I did have a melt down and attacked Nick over sampling some of the cucumber I was very deliciously enjoying while reading a book (book = distraction from copious amounts of drinking). It just sent me over the edge, that I had my small bowl of cucumber and that he, who could eat anything he wanted was "stealing," my allotment of cucumber. In my head it was no different than me walking up to his plate and stealing his potatoes. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I had been surrounded by temptation all weekend and was doing my best to ignore my growling stomach, the fun being had by all, and all of the bad food items around. It was like an alcoholic working in a bar or a crack head living at a crack house. I snapped and went off on Nick, telling him to pretty much F-off and go eat his own much more tasty food and to leave the starving girl's cucumbers alone. This resulted in me having to go home, have a melt down and refocus. I eventually rejoined the party, apologized to Nick and stuck it out on the diet.
Tomorrow will put me exactly 7 days out from surgery. I am really really excited but nervous, the light is getting brighter at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I am carrying around a very fragile expensive vase that I am trying to transport across country ensuring that it arrives in 1 piece. I don't want anything crazy to happen before the surgery to make it not happen, I just want to make it across that finish line. I am resigned to sticking to the diet, working out more this week, being very strict with my portion sizes and hopefully watching the scale move downwards. My goals is to be a total of 17 lbs down by surgery. So we shall see if I end up at my goal. My advice to any of you going through a similar situation, when surrounded by temptation, no matter how bad you want to give in and have something bad just remember, you are doing this for a reason and that reason and it's direct result is greater than a momentary lapse in judgement. Also the guilt the next morning is not worth it. Keep your eye on the prize.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
Thursday- went out with a couple of coworkers to steak night. I managed to get by without completely blowing the diet.
Friday- came down with a sinus/ear infection and went to the clinic in Walgreens to get some antibiotics. Had to get that cleared up before surgery which at that time was 10 days out (feeling much better now). Also I was exhausted from the aforementioned steak night and also having to make a middle of the night run to the ship yard for work. So I was in bed relatively early. Small victory- I did manage to find these protein shakes that taste yummy called Pure Protein at the Vitamin Shoppe. I had wanted to try the other flavors before making a financial investment by ordering a case of them. By the way, the banana and vanilla rocks!! Oh and stay away from the cookies and cream, it should be called yuck in a can.
Saturday- AKA Day 1 of Hell- Up until this point I had managed to stick to my diet and was holding steady at 10 lbs lost. The day started out crappy with a wake up call from my boss at 730 a.m. to which resulted in having to call several members of my crew, waking them up and finally another trip to the fleet and then the ship yard. Luckily I was home by 930 and back in bed for a nap. My day gets worse. I saunter across the street to see how all the out of town family guests are doing and what they are doing. Of course, being the good time having people they are, they were all drinking and eating really yummy things!! I was able to stave off temptation for a while. But eventually gave in and tried a cracker with jalapeno jelly on it which led to a couple of chips with salsa. At this point, I decided that I was going to go outside and swim 50 laps in the pool so at least if I was going to have a few things I would at least have worked out. I swam the 50 laps and also treaded water for 5 minutes straight. This afforded me (in my mind) a spoonful of Spanish rice with dinner. I stayed away from the alcohol though, the whole not shrinking my liver enough for surgery thing really worries me. If I make it all the way to the operating table and the surgeon opens me up but doesn't do surgery, I will be intolerable. Saturday night was our fantasy football draft and I have to say probably the most annoying thing ever. Everyone was drunk, except of course me and very obnoxious. I guess when you are on the outside looking in, it is not as fun. On the upside, my new found hobby of not drinking has revealed another talent, designated driver!
Sunday (today) AKA Day 2 of Hell- I woke up and weighed, and thanks to some miracle I was still at the -10 lbs I had been at all weekend. Part of me was really excited that I hadn't gained any weight but I was also really sad that the scale hadn't moved down either. I decided that the little cheats I had given into the day before were really stupid and that I needed to pull it together, turn the cheek to temptation and be motivated to see the numbers on the scale drop. We all went to Galveston to enjoy the "beach." I can say that I stuck to my diet very strictly. No cheats. I had my shakes and even on the way back from the beach, stopped to pick up my 2nd shake at a gas station, I had to settle for Muscle Milk, which I am not normally a fan of, but it did the trick of tiding me over. I also swam some in the pool and treaded more water. At one point I did have a melt down and attacked Nick over sampling some of the cucumber I was very deliciously enjoying while reading a book (book = distraction from copious amounts of drinking). It just sent me over the edge, that I had my small bowl of cucumber and that he, who could eat anything he wanted was "stealing," my allotment of cucumber. In my head it was no different than me walking up to his plate and stealing his potatoes. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I had been surrounded by temptation all weekend and was doing my best to ignore my growling stomach, the fun being had by all, and all of the bad food items around. It was like an alcoholic working in a bar or a crack head living at a crack house. I snapped and went off on Nick, telling him to pretty much F-off and go eat his own much more tasty food and to leave the starving girl's cucumbers alone. This resulted in me having to go home, have a melt down and refocus. I eventually rejoined the party, apologized to Nick and stuck it out on the diet.
Tomorrow will put me exactly 7 days out from surgery. I am really really excited but nervous, the light is getting brighter at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I am carrying around a very fragile expensive vase that I am trying to transport across country ensuring that it arrives in 1 piece. I don't want anything crazy to happen before the surgery to make it not happen, I just want to make it across that finish line. I am resigned to sticking to the diet, working out more this week, being very strict with my portion sizes and hopefully watching the scale move downwards. My goals is to be a total of 17 lbs down by surgery. So we shall see if I end up at my goal. My advice to any of you going through a similar situation, when surrounded by temptation, no matter how bad you want to give in and have something bad just remember, you are doing this for a reason and that reason and it's direct result is greater than a momentary lapse in judgement. Also the guilt the next morning is not worth it. Keep your eye on the prize.
Until tomorrow,
Amanda
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